6 weeks 2 days

I thought for sure the title of this post was going to be "6 weeks 1 day and it's over".  Why? Because over the past week I have had 2 more days of bleeding like I did the night before the ultrasound.  At first I didn't get super concerned because I knew as long as the bleeding wasn't red or heavy, that things were find. But the 3 day of bleed was accompanied by cramps which is what spurred me to call the doctor.  I heard back from the nurse yesterday afternoon and she again assured me that things were fine.

So feeling reassured, I continue on with my day. Shortly before I was finished with work I feel this weird discharge down there. And it's a little warm. Not a gush like last pregnancy, but sort of how you feel when you know your period has started.  I go to the bathroom and sure enough, there's blood and it's bright red.  There are a few little clots but nothing major.  I leave work knowing that all I can do is wait and see what happens. I drive the half hour home and by the time I get there, the bleeding is almost gone. So i figure that everything is going to be fine. Until I go to the bathroom again and the bleeding is heavier and there is a huge blood clot in the toilet.  At this point I am totally freaked out. 

I call the doctor, she asks me some questions about the bleeding and tells me to call the clinic first thing in the morning to schedule an ultrasound. She also told me that if the bleeding gets super heavy or I start having severe pain, to call her back again. As the evening progresses, the bleeding doesn't really get worse, but i keep going through this cycle of gush some blood, go to the bathroom and pass some very large blood clots, wipe and start over again.  This lasts over the course of about 2 hours.  By this time I am totally convinced that the baby is gone and tomorrow's ultrasound is going to confirm my fears.  I cried myself to sleep knowing that IVF can help me get pregnant, but for some reason my body doesn't want me to stay pregnant.

I wake up this morning and am prepared for the news I am about to receive at the clinic.  I am not happy, but I am prepared.  I know that God has a plan and someway, somehow I will be a mom, this time just might not be it. 

Of course the clinic was super busy this morning, so I tune everyone else out and play games on my phone while I wait to go back for the ultrasound. I can be prepared for the news, but I'm not necessarily prepared to interact with other people.  Finally I get to go back for the ultrasound, the tech asks me about the bleeding and we talk about it briefly.  She starts the ultrasound and almost immediately says "I see a baby and a heartbeat".

My mouth dropped, this is not what I was expecting to hear.  I think I said "what?". She turned the screen towards me and points out the baby and it's flickering heartbeat.  I immediately started crying. I was so convinced this baby was gone and here it is .. fine and wonderful. The tech told me she needed to take some measurements and would also be looking for the source of the bleed.

Finally she turns the screen towards me again and shows me that gestational sac, the yolk sac inside and the baby inside. She shows me the area around the gestational sac where the bleed is coming from. She shows me that the baby is located at the top of my uterus where it's supposed to be (I guess if it was lower than it had been before it might signal a miscarriage in progress). She then gives me a close up of the baby again (as much of a close up as you can get at this early stage) and lets me watch the heart beating for a few moments.  It's amazing to see that flickering on the screen. I am so in love with this little bean it's crazy!

Next she goes over the measurements with me.  I am currently 6 weeks 2 days today, the baby CRL is measuring at 6 weeks 1 day, and the gestational sac is measuring at 6weeks.  The baby's heartbeat is 110 beats per minute which is 100% spot on for the 6 week range.  The baby's heart rate should increase to at least 120 bpm when I have my 8 week ultrasound. 

Next I meet with the doctor who reviews the information with me again.  She tells me that there are generally two reasons for the type of bleeding I had - a miscarriage or a subchorionic bleed. In my case she's certain that it is a bleed and not a miscarriage.  She said if the pregnancy was behind - meaning I am 6 weeks and measuring at 5 weeks, she would think it's a miscarriage.  She also said that it is a slow bleed, which gives it plenty of time to clot and result in the type of bleeding and clots I had yesterday.  She said the cramping is most likely a result of the bleeding because it irritates the uterus. The bleed is still there, so it's possible that I will experience more bleeding in the future.  But again, as long as the bleeding is not super heavy (meaning I don't fill a pad in an hour or less) and I don't have severe pain, things are fine.  But obviously I can always call if I have any questions.

Needless to say, I am over the moon!! Life is good and so far, this pregnancy is too. This really might work this time.