Beta's

I have been waiting to write this post until we had both of our beta's done.  The reason is that last time it was very stressful as my first beta at 13 days past ovulation was 40 and the second one 2 days later was only a 60.  We had to wait 6 more days before we could comfortably confirm that this was a viable pregnancy.  So, I wanted to wait till I knew what we were dealing with.

Beta #1 was on Wednesday at 13 days past ovulation and came back at 56.  We were thrilled as this number was higher than our starting point last time.  Beta #2 was yesterday at 15 days past ovulation and came in at 111.  The nurse said it was a perfect double and that they will not do any more beta's.  She said the next step is an ultrasound which can't happen until there is something that can be seen.  We are scheduled for that on Monday February 20th.  I am both nervous and excited for the ultrasound because I will be 5 weeks and 4 days on the 20th, which is one day past when we had the miscarriage last time. 

However, over all I am much more calm about things.  I think the biggest thing is that I know I have zero control over what happens next.  If this pregnancy is meant to happen, it's going to happen and if it's not, there is nothing I can do to change that.  I also know that I've been through the worse thing imaginable (at least imaginable for me at this stage) and I made it through it once, I can do it again and will be alright. It's nice actually, because I am finding myself much more relaxed and stress free.

That being said, I am still nervous that we will miscarry. I also still analyze every twitch, twinge, or cramp I feel.  I think that I would be that way regardless.  I am also a little nervous about my lack of symptoms at this point, although I know that I am only 4 weeks and 2 days right now: there is plenty of time to have symptoms.

Current symptoms:

• My boobs a little sore and are bigger than normal. I am fully filling out my bra now whereas before I had a little bit of room in them.  And I am a big girl in the boob department.  My current size is 40DD.  If they get much bigger, I might have to think about buying new bras.
• I am having some queasiness.  It comes and goes and is never very severe.  I seem to notice it the most in the morning and early afternoon.  By evening it's usually gone.
• I have occasional mild, light cramping. Most of what I am feeling is actually coming from the area of my left ovary.  I think that it is still recovering from all of the meds and egg retrieval. It's always been my more sensitive ovary and I can usually feel "things" going on with it more than the right one.
• I am super super tired!! I have been in bed by 9:30 pm every night this past week.  This morning I was up at 7:30 am and took a nap from 11:00 am to 12:30 pm.  It's now almost 9:15 pm and I am feeling pretty tired.  I think I can make it to 10:00 pm, but not sure I will last past that.