December 18, 2012

Grace is 2 months old!

I am so surprised at how fast time is flying by with a baby in the house.  It seems like life revolves around sleeping, eating and pooping schedules .. lol,. but I would not have it any other way.  I have such joy at finally being a mommy and I wouldn't trade any of it away.  Even the sleep deprived horrible first few weeks we brought Grace home.  She is our miracle baby and I try hard every day to appreciate and live in the moment.

Yesterday we had Grace's 2 month well check and she weighed in at 11 pounds and is 21.75 inches long.  This is great news because until just about a week ago she was still wearing only Newborn sized clothing.  To say she is petite is definitely an understatement.  At this point I am not buying clothes for her until we need them. What I have in her drawers and closet will get us by until she's solidly in the next size of clothes.  I have a feeling she some of the 3-6 month clothes will go out of season before she wears them, and the same for her 6-9 month clothes.  But that's ok, luckily we didn't buy any clothes bigger than 9 months until we knew how much she would grow, which it appears isn't going to happen quickly.



Two weeks ago Grace started sleeping between 6 and 8 hours at night.  The first night she did it I woke up at 4:30 am in a panic and immediately thought she was dead.  But she was fine, just sleeping away in her Rock N Play. I kept putting my hand on her chest to make sure she was still breathing. After the third night I was hoping we had a pattern started and so far she's been sticking to it.  Some nights it takes a bit to get her to go down for the night, but usually she's asleep before 11pm and has been waking up between 5 and 7 am to nurse, then back to sleep for a few hours.  Usually we are up for the day no later than 9 am.  And I admit that occasionally I still put my hand on her chest to make sure she's breathing in the middle of the night.

During the day she seems to be setting a schedule as well.  After we are up in the morning, diaper changed and nursed, she's usually awake for an hour or so which allows me time to get a shower and blow dry my hair while she sits in her chair in the bathroom with me.  After that she nurses again and usually sleeps for about an hour. Then she's up for a few hours, nurses a few times in there and then back out for usually a 2-4 hour nap.  Evenings are a little more iffy.  She tends to want to nurse every 1-2 hours and take cat naps in between.  She's also a little bit more fussy in the evenings and mostly just wants to be held.






Grace is starting to smile all the time and likes to giggle.  She also has started being very vocal and "talks" to mommy and daddy all the time.  She's generally a very happy baby in the mornings.  She also holds her head up really well and loves to look around.  She gets upset if she wants to see stuff and you're not holding her in a way that allows that to happen.

I am adjusting well to being a stay at home mom.  The staying at home part has been easy after being home since April. But the being a mom part is a little more challenging.  I love it! But I always question myself about whether I am doing things the right way or not.  I try not to worry about it too much and to acknowledge that I will make mistakes and that's ok.  Like the other day, I felt so bad because I scratched her with one of my nails.  She cried like I had tried to kill her and it made me want to cry and I felt so guilty. Then I reminded myself that accidents happen and she's bound to get hurt and a scratch isn't a big deal.  Being a mom is hard enough work as it is without making myself feel guilty about every little thing.  So I just keep doing what I'm doing, hoping I am doing right by her, and enjoying every second I have with this precious miracle.

December 2, 2012

Crazy Life

Wow .. I can't believe it's been so long since I updated on here.  But it's true what they say about being a new mom and having zero time to spend on anything other than the baby.  So let's catch up on what's been going on!

As maybe previously posted, my doctors wanted to induce at 39 weeks because of the gestational diabetes. That meant I would go to the hospital on October 11th for the induction.  Well, that didn't happen.  Instead I got a call on Wednesday saying that one of the doctors decided that they were going to wait until Monday the 15th to induce.  No one said it, but I knew part of the reason is that the hospital had been super busy with baby's being born and they really weren't doing inductions on anyone if they could help it and mostly because there was no room.  I was really upset when I got that call and basically spent all of Wednesday being an emotional and hormonal ball of tears.  Oh did Steve love me!! We got into a big fight and everything.  But I couldn't help it.  I was so disappointed after having been told for weeks that I was being induced on that day and I was also worried about the baby.  It's not like they were planning to induce me for the fun of it, there are obviously medical reasons to induce at that point.

Thursday morning the 11th I wake up and go to my regularly scheduled NST at the hospital at 11 am (good thing we had scheduled this the week before and not relied on that being induction day).  I show up, they do the test and the nurse tells me that my blood pressure is elevated.  This is the second time in the past few weeks, so she wants to talk to the doctor on call.  And score for me because it's the doctor from the practice that was adamant I be induced at 39 weeks on the dot.  I knew if there was any chance of me staying and getting induced anyways, this would be it.  He decided to run bloodwork for pre-eclampsia and the nurse came back an hour later to tell me the doctor decided he was keeping me and they would start the induction that evening.  I called Steve, told him to grab my bags and come to the hospital.  The doctor came to see me shortly after that and told me that my bloodwork was fine, but since I was 39 weeks and had the gestational diabetes he wanted to keep me anyways.  It would be a few hours until they started the induction because there were already a lot of women in labor and delivery, but he didn't want me to go home.  At this point it was early afternoon and I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.  He told me I could have Steve bring me dinner and get a shower there but he didn't want me to go home and induction would start around 9 pm.

I didn't actually get my IV and moved into a labor room until after 10 pm that night.  Apparently there were 5 babies born between 6 and 8 pm so there wasn't any time for them to get me ready, nor was there a room they could put me in until then. At 10:30pm they finally started me on the cytotech which is teeny tiny pill I would have to take every 4 hours.  At this point  I was already having mild contractions and they pills started making them a little more regular.  By 6 am the doctor was ready to start the pitocin and I was dilated to 1 cm.  And that's where I stopped.  The contractions continued to increase but I wasn't dilating.  The nurse checked me and said she felt scar tissue around my cervix and said it was probably because of a procedure I had done years ago.  At noon on Friday the doctor came in, broke my water, and attempted to break the scar tissue away, but it was too painful for me. He said it would be easier once I had the epidural, but I wasn't quite ready to do that yet and wasn't even sure if  I wanted an epidural.  However, the nurse said I wasn't going to be able to dilate any further without them breaking the scar tissue away and at this point the contractions were starting to get stronger.  I finally agreed that an epidural was probably the best option so the doctor could break away the scar tissue and I could finally start dilating. Unfortunately the anesthesiologists were all busy on other cases so I had to wait. Luckily they gave me something else for pain and that helped until I could get the epidural.

I was so happy when I got the epidural because I knew things were going to start progressing and I was anxious to have my baby.  But of course, I have really bad luck and things didn't go according to plan.  My contractions started to slow down and labor didn't progress with the pitocin.  A new doctor from my practice came on call then and he told me he couldn't give me any more pitocin so he wanted to stop the pitocin for a few hours and then start it back up again.  He said one of two things would happen, either my body would continue naturally in labor after stopping the pitocin or the pitocin would start my labor again that night.  At 8 pm I was only dilated to a 4 so the pitocin was started again.  At 4 am they checked me again and I was finally at an 8.  Meanwhile the entire time during active labor they had to check my blood sugar every 2 hours, plus I was hooked up to monitors to watch the baby and had a catheter because of the epidural.

Finally shortly after 7 am on Saturday October 13th I was ready to push.  The nurses told me that usually first time moms have to push for 2-3 hours, well let me tell you .. that was not happening!  I was bound and determined this baby was coming out and sooner than later.  At 7:50 am our beautiful little girl was born.  Grace Elizabeth was born weighing 7lbs 7 oz and 19 inches long.  After 9 years of marriage, several years of infertility treatments, 10 long months of pregnancy and 33 hours of labor, we had our miracle baby in our arms.


Since her birth we have been extremely busy.  The first two weeks at home were pretty difficult.  She had her days and nights mixed up and we had our hands full.  Now it's mostly a blur, but I can remember feeling so frustrated and overwhelmed and scared.  But week by week things have gotten better.  I know her better now and have gotten better at figuring out what she wants and needs.  Life with a baby is challenging, but it's been so rewarding already.  I am completely in love with her and so thrilled that she's a part of our lives.