We are excited and nervous to be doing this again. I cannot decide if I am more nervous about the idea that we will get pregnant again and then miscarry, or that this time it will not work at all. A part of me is almost too afraid to try again, but I don't want my fear to cripple me. I just keep telling myself that if it's meant to be, it will happen. At first it was the financial aspect I was worried about, but thanks to the doctor agreeing to waive about $1500 in charges and then our IVF coordinator securing the majority of our needed meds from their stock of samples, we can afford to try again this year.
Now the only thing I am worried about is getting the time off of work. I worry that if the IVF works and we get pregnant again, that I will be a basket case. I know that I will worry about miscarrying again. I fear that stress played a major role in our first miscarriage and I worry that the stress from my job will cause a second miscarriage. I am currently working with my employer to determine which options are available to me for a leave of absence. I may have to end up taking a 30 day unpaid leave, but at this point I am willing to do whatever it takes to make my dreams of having a family come true.
Wish us luck and I will keep you posted as we get further into this journey in the coming weeks.
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