A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Daughter,

You aren't even here yet and I love you so much.  As I sit here writing this I can feel your movements and see my belly moving as you do what baby's in the womb do.  I can't wait to see your sweet face and kiss your downy head.  I have waited for this for so long and the time seems to drag some days.  Other days it seems like this pregnancy is flying by and I desperately try to enjoy each and every moment of it.  I don't know if I will get to ever experience this again and I have been so joyful in my happiness that I even get to experience this at all. I wonder what you will look like and what your personality will be.  I know already that you are probably going to be stubborn, but at least I know you come by it honestly.

Someday your dad and I will tell you all about the long road we traveled to get where we are, but for now, just know that you have always been wanted and have been loved from the first moment, maybe even before.  And because I love you so much already, I worry that I will not be good enough.  Will I be able to give you all of the love and attention that you need? Will you know how much I want you to be happy and only want what is best for you?

I look forward to all of your years and the adventures we will have.  I can't wait to play dress up and with dollhouses.  To play baseball and soccer and go swimming in the summer.  I look forward to your first day of school, your first boyfriend, your prom, your graduation, your wedding and everything else in between.  But even while looking forward to those things, I worry.  I want you to be a strong, independent person.  I want you to be compassionate and understanding and tolerant.  I want you to do what makes you the happiest in life, the thing you have the most passion for.  I want you to love and be loved. I want you to have a confidence in yourself and to love yourself for who you are.

But how? How do I raise a daughter? How do I help you become the person you are meant to be? How do I help you be all of these things?

I know I will make mistakes and that our relationship will not be perfect.  Because let's face it - nothing in life is perfect.  But that's ok.  I promise to tell you I'm sorry when I have made a mistake.  I promise to love you unconditionally no matter what.  I promise to listen to you and try to understand your point of view.  I promise to always be here for you, for the good and the bad.  I promise to listen with an open mind and heart. I promise to do the best that I can.

For now I just love you and your kicks and squirms.  I love knowing that in 10 weeks I will be holding you in my arms.  For now I just hold on to the idea that we have time, time to figure out all of the little stuff and time to enjoy the every day.

I love you baby girl.  I can't wait to meet you.

Love,
Mom

Growth Scan

Our growth scan was scheduled this past week on Wednesday.  I was 28weeks 6 days at the scan and baby girl was measuring right on track for our due date of October 18.  Apparently at this point they no longer use the CRL (crown to rump length) method for measurement, they measure the femur bone in the leg and use that for dating.  I of course had the tech check to make sure she was still a girl ... and she is!! I know it's silly to keep asking, but a part of me fears that here I am preparing for this baby girl and she will be born and actually be a boy.  How crazy would that be?  I would love the baby no matter what, but it would definitely take a little adjustment.

Baby is measuring right now in the 63rd percentile for her weight.  She was weighing in at 3lbs 2 oz.  The tech told us this is pretty normal and right now they aren't concerned about her size, but will be keeping an eye on it because of the gestational diabetes.  She also checked baby's heart and did a biophysical profile.  She told me that I will get both growth scans and biophysical profiles a little later in the pregnancy - usually around week 34-36 - which is only 5 or 6 weeks from now ... aaahhh!!!

That's all that's new for now .. getting anxious for our princess to be here.  Also excited about the baby shower which happens 3 weeks from today.  Only one doctors appointment this week - 30 week check up with the OB.  So far so good with everything ... and am still feeling pretty good, just starting to feel a little big now.  But that's ok .. the longer we make it, the healthier baby girl will be.