It's Been Way Too Long

Wow.. I can't believe it's been 5 months since I last added any posts. I spend a lot of time writing blog posts in my head, but not actually typing anything on here. Grace keeps me super busy and with her current schedule, I am too busy during nap times and too tired at bedtime to spend time on the computer. 

Speaking of Grace .. let's get up to speed.  She is 7 1/2 months old and driving me crazy (not really), ok sometimes she drives me crazy.  After starting to teeth at 4 months and getting her first tooth at 5 months, she is sporting 7 teeth in her little mouth.  Seven teeth that came in one right after another in miserable, non sleeping, low grade fever inducing succession.  In other news, she has started to crawl, or at least her equivalent of crawling.  She does this half scoot, half crawl thing that is so funny to see. At first I thought I should be worried about it, but I think she's going to start walking sooner than later, so this is just her temporary means of transportation.  The reason we think she is going to walk sooner than later is because she has become very good at pulling herself up with everything she possibly can, my arm, the couch, the baby gate, her dad's leg, the toy bin, etc..

She is such a determined little thing.  She gets that from me and she's stubborn which she gets from her dad. We definitely have our hands full with this girl. In good things we finally got her to sleep in her crib instead of the rock n play  She started trying to roll over in the rock n play and she started sitting up in it  So, the rock n play had to go, but I was dreading putting her in the crib because I figured she would be super resistant to the idea.  We had started getting her to sleep in a pack n play in our bedroom at around 4 months, but once she started teething that went out the window and back into the rock n play she went.  Well ... the crib worked out much better.  Initially she started out in the crib and then half way through the night she ended up in the rock n play, but now she is pretty solidly sleeping in the crib.

Or at least she was until a few nights ago.  I don't know if she is teething again or if we are starting to experience separation anxiety or what the heck is going on, but it's crazy and this momma is tired!! Last night Grace was up 3 times and cried every time I put her down.  Finally at 3 am I let her sleep in bed with me. I figured that was better than listening to her scream and cry every time I tried to put her down and walk away.  This parenting this is hard!!

What else? She is becoming such a character and is starting to really develop a personality.  She giggles and laughs a little bit, but not a ton. She's such a serious little thing and I suspect we will be spending a lot of time trying to get her to loosen up and have fun.  She's currently wearing 3-6 month clothes, but is slowly getting into 6-9 month outfits.  She's still a little on the petite side, but that's ok.  Schedule wise she is not very steady.  She's usually up between 7 and 8 am, and down for a nap within 2 hours, and after that it's hit or miss. She usually takes 3 naps a day that vary in length from 30 minutes to 90 minutes. She eats or nurses about every 2-3 hours.

So life is busy, but it's great! I am loving every minute of being home with my sweetheart and wouldn't trade this time with her for anything.  I am also going to make an effort to try to post a little more, but honestly I can't make any promises. 

Here's a recent picture of my princess ...

One Year

Today is my 31st birthday.  Yay me! But what's extra special about today is what happened a year ago.  One year ago today Steve and I did our embryo transfer that gave us Grace.  It's hard to believe how quickly a year can fly by! and what an amazing year it has been.

I look back at everything we have been through, all of the fertility drugs, the IUI's, the first IVF, the miscarriage, the second IVF and successful pregnancy and can't believe that we have finally made it to this place.  It truly has been worth everything that we have gone through and every cent we have paid for these treatments.

On my 30th birthday I received the best gift I could ever have asked for.  I will forever remember that birthday and in an era where aging is often a bad thing and birthdays become more of a burden than something to celebrate, I will always have this anniversary..  So instead of lamenting my 40th birthday some day, I will instead be celebrating the 10th anniversary of the day that gave us Grace.

Here is a recent pic of our beautiful Grace enjoying some tummy time on mommy and daddy's bed:

20 Things About 2012

I saw this neat questionnaire on another blog and thought this would be really fun to do. I know it's a few days into the New Year, but I didn't want to post this till 2012 was really over (just in case my answers would change) and with a baby and a house full of family yesterday, I didn't get a chance to do it until now. 

1. What did you do in 2012 that you have never done before? I had a baby! 

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions and will you make more for next year? I didn't make any resolutions this year and I probably won't make any for next year. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Do I count?  Both my sister and a sister in law had a baby this year - both of them were boys.  

4. Did anyone close to you die? We lost my Pap this year.  He was a great man and well loved. 

5. What places have you visited? We took a vacation to Disney World this year with my mom and my nephew.  

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012? Possibly a job.  I had one for about 3 months in 2012 and quit early in my pregnancy.  So a job would be nice, but one that I can do from home. 

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched in your memory and why? October 13 will forever be on my mind - the day my daughter was born.  It was the most magical day of my entire life. 

8. What was your biggest achievement this year? Having a baby - we've tried for our entire marriage to have a baby and after 9 1/2 years we finally had our daughter. 

9. Did you suffer illness or injury? No illness or injury for me this year ... just pregnancy. 

10. What was the best thing you bought? I know this sounds bad, but our daughter.  IVF is very expensive but she is worth every penny we paid for the procedure and the medications. Plus the cost of delivery was expensive too, but again - worth every penny.  

11. Where did most of your money go? Most of our money went towards our baby and baby stuff - crib, dressers, swing, bassinet, pack n play, etc. 

12. What song will always remind you of 2012? I'm really not sure. I don't often associate songs to certain years. Usually songs remind me of people, places and events. 

13. What do you wish you would have done more of? I wish Steve and I would have done a little bit more couple stuff together. Having a baby means very little alone time with one another. A nice trip away for just the two of us would have been nice.

14. What do you wish you would have done less of? I wish I would have worried a little less.  I loved being pregnant but so much of my joy was tempered by my worry that something would go wrong. 

15. What was your favorite TV program?  Well .. where to start?  Grey's Anatomy, Criminal Minds, Vampire Diaries, The Voice, Scandal, Private Practice, How I Met Your Mother and the Big Bang Theory

16. What was the best book you read this year? The best book series I read was the Ally Conde Matched, Crossed, and Reached. 

17. What was your favorite film of the year? Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part 2 - I admit I am a huge Twilight Fan.  I've read the books a ton of times and have seen every movie on opening day, except for this last one.  Grace was less than a month old and I just couldn't leave her for that long.  I did get to see it in the theaters, it just took me 2 weeks after it came out to get there. But I did get to see it and now I'm anxiously awaiting the DVD. 

18. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? This year I turned 30 and it is a birthday I will never forget. We did our IVF in January and had our egg retrieval on January 26th.  Three days later, on my 30th birthday, we transferred 2 embryos which resulted in Grace - definitely the best birthday present ever!!!

19. What national/world event stirred you the most? The Olympics by far.  I love watching the Olympics and always feel such a sense of patriotism as I root for the American athletes.  I think it provides a great source of pride and community for our nation.  This answer was typed earlier in the month of December while this post sat in draft and I didn't want to remove it because the Olympics really were great, but a horrible tragedy occurred in December 2012 that I have to write about because it was so sad and as a mother, struck very close to home. So the other event was the tragedy at the elementary school in Sandy Hook CT.  It amazes me that anyone could take another's life, but to go into a school and shoot at young innocent children is just something beyond evil.  I didn't watch much about this tragedy other than the initial news reports and such that occurred that day.  I just couldn't stand to see continuous news coverage of something so sad and definitely had no desire to see tiny coffins and funeral services either.  My heart goes out to those mothers who were not able to hold their baby's close this Christmas and into the new year.  

20. Who was the best new person you met? My daughter Grace.  She's amazing!! My life will forever be changed because of her. 

Grace is 2 months old!

I am so surprised at how fast time is flying by with a baby in the house.  It seems like life revolves around sleeping, eating and pooping schedules .. lol,. but I would not have it any other way.  I have such joy at finally being a mommy and I wouldn't trade any of it away.  Even the sleep deprived horrible first few weeks we brought Grace home.  She is our miracle baby and I try hard every day to appreciate and live in the moment.

Yesterday we had Grace's 2 month well check and she weighed in at 11 pounds and is 21.75 inches long.  This is great news because until just about a week ago she was still wearing only Newborn sized clothing.  To say she is petite is definitely an understatement.  At this point I am not buying clothes for her until we need them. What I have in her drawers and closet will get us by until she's solidly in the next size of clothes.  I have a feeling she some of the 3-6 month clothes will go out of season before she wears them, and the same for her 6-9 month clothes.  But that's ok, luckily we didn't buy any clothes bigger than 9 months until we knew how much she would grow, which it appears isn't going to happen quickly.

Two weeks ago Grace started sleeping between 6 and 8 hours at night.  The first night she did it I woke up at 4:30 am in a panic and immediately thought she was dead.  But she was fine, just sleeping away in her Rock N Play. I kept putting my hand on her chest to make sure she was still breathing. After the third night I was hoping we had a pattern started and so far she's been sticking to it.  Some nights it takes a bit to get her to go down for the night, but usually she's asleep before 11pm and has been waking up between 5 and 7 am to nurse, then back to sleep for a few hours.  Usually we are up for the day no later than 9 am.  And I admit that occasionally I still put my hand on her chest to make sure she's breathing in the middle of the night.

During the day she seems to be setting a schedule as well.  After we are up in the morning, diaper changed and nursed, she's usually awake for an hour or so which allows me time to get a shower and blow dry my hair while she sits in her chair in the bathroom with me.  After that she nurses again and usually sleeps for about an hour. Then she's up for a few hours, nurses a few times in there and then back out for usually a 2-4 hour nap.  Evenings are a little more iffy.  She tends to want to nurse every 1-2 hours and take cat naps in between.  She's also a little bit more fussy in the evenings and mostly just wants to be held.

Grace is starting to smile all the time and likes to giggle.  She also has started being very vocal and "talks" to mommy and daddy all the time.  She's generally a very happy baby in the mornings.  She also holds her head up really well and loves to look around.  She gets upset if she wants to see stuff and you're not holding her in a way that allows that to happen.

I am adjusting well to being a stay at home mom.  The staying at home part has been easy after being home since April. But the being a mom part is a little more challenging.  I love it! But I always question myself about whether I am doing things the right way or not.  I try not to worry about it too much and to acknowledge that I will make mistakes and that's ok.  Like the other day, I felt so bad because I scratched her with one of my nails.  She cried like I had tried to kill her and it made me want to cry and I felt so guilty. Then I reminded myself that accidents happen and she's bound to get hurt and a scratch isn't a big deal.  Being a mom is hard enough work as it is without making myself feel guilty about every little thing.  So I just keep doing what I'm doing, hoping I am doing right by her, and enjoying every second I have with this precious miracle.

Crazy Life

Wow .. I can't believe it's been so long since I updated on here.  But it's true what they say about being a new mom and having zero time to spend on anything other than the baby.  So let's catch up on what's been going on!

As maybe previously posted, my doctors wanted to induce at 39 weeks because of the gestational diabetes. That meant I would go to the hospital on October 11th for the induction.  Well, that didn't happen.  Instead I got a call on Wednesday saying that one of the doctors decided that they were going to wait until Monday the 15th to induce.  No one said it, but I knew part of the reason is that the hospital had been super busy with baby's being born and they really weren't doing inductions on anyone if they could help it and mostly because there was no room.  I was really upset when I got that call and basically spent all of Wednesday being an emotional and hormonal ball of tears.  Oh did Steve love me!! We got into a big fight and everything.  But I couldn't help it.  I was so disappointed after having been told for weeks that I was being induced on that day and I was also worried about the baby.  It's not like they were planning to induce me for the fun of it, there are obviously medical reasons to induce at that point.

Thursday morning the 11th I wake up and go to my regularly scheduled NST at the hospital at 11 am (good thing we had scheduled this the week before and not relied on that being induction day).  I show up, they do the test and the nurse tells me that my blood pressure is elevated.  This is the second time in the past few weeks, so she wants to talk to the doctor on call.  And score for me because it's the doctor from the practice that was adamant I be induced at 39 weeks on the dot.  I knew if there was any chance of me staying and getting induced anyways, this would be it.  He decided to run bloodwork for pre-eclampsia and the nurse came back an hour later to tell me the doctor decided he was keeping me and they would start the induction that evening.  I called Steve, told him to grab my bags and come to the hospital.  The doctor came to see me shortly after that and told me that my bloodwork was fine, but since I was 39 weeks and had the gestational diabetes he wanted to keep me anyways.  It would be a few hours until they started the induction because there were already a lot of women in labor and delivery, but he didn't want me to go home.  At this point it was early afternoon and I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.  He told me I could have Steve bring me dinner and get a shower there but he didn't want me to go home and induction would start around 9 pm.

I didn't actually get my IV and moved into a labor room until after 10 pm that night.  Apparently there were 5 babies born between 6 and 8 pm so there wasn't any time for them to get me ready, nor was there a room they could put me in until then. At 10:30pm they finally started me on the cytotech which is teeny tiny pill I would have to take every 4 hours.  At this point  I was already having mild contractions and they pills started making them a little more regular.  By 6 am the doctor was ready to start the pitocin and I was dilated to 1 cm.  And that's where I stopped.  The contractions continued to increase but I wasn't dilating.  The nurse checked me and said she felt scar tissue around my cervix and said it was probably because of a procedure I had done years ago.  At noon on Friday the doctor came in, broke my water, and attempted to break the scar tissue away, but it was too painful for me. He said it would be easier once I had the epidural, but I wasn't quite ready to do that yet and wasn't even sure if  I wanted an epidural.  However, the nurse said I wasn't going to be able to dilate any further without them breaking the scar tissue away and at this point the contractions were starting to get stronger.  I finally agreed that an epidural was probably the best option so the doctor could break away the scar tissue and I could finally start dilating. Unfortunately the anesthesiologists were all busy on other cases so I had to wait. Luckily they gave me something else for pain and that helped until I could get the epidural.

I was so happy when I got the epidural because I knew things were going to start progressing and I was anxious to have my baby.  But of course, I have really bad luck and things didn't go according to plan.  My contractions started to slow down and labor didn't progress with the pitocin.  A new doctor from my practice came on call then and he told me he couldn't give me any more pitocin so he wanted to stop the pitocin for a few hours and then start it back up again.  He said one of two things would happen, either my body would continue naturally in labor after stopping the pitocin or the pitocin would start my labor again that night.  At 8 pm I was only dilated to a 4 so the pitocin was started again.  At 4 am they checked me again and I was finally at an 8.  Meanwhile the entire time during active labor they had to check my blood sugar every 2 hours, plus I was hooked up to monitors to watch the baby and had a catheter because of the epidural.

Finally shortly after 7 am on Saturday October 13th I was ready to push.  The nurses told me that usually first time moms have to push for 2-3 hours, well let me tell you .. that was not happening!  I was bound and determined this baby was coming out and sooner than later.  At 7:50 am our beautiful little girl was born.  Grace Elizabeth was born weighing 7lbs 7 oz and 19 inches long.  After 9 years of marriage, several years of infertility treatments, 10 long months of pregnancy and 33 hours of labor, we had our miracle baby in our arms.

Since her birth we have been extremely busy.  The first two weeks at home were pretty difficult.  She had her days and nights mixed up and we had our hands full.  Now it's mostly a blur, but I can remember feeling so frustrated and overwhelmed and scared.  But week by week things have gotten better.  I know her better now and have gotten better at figuring out what she wants and needs.  Life with a baby is challenging, but it's been so rewarding already.  I am completely in love with her and so thrilled that she's a part of our lives.

Maternity Photo Shoot

Last weekend Steve and I got the opportunity to have a free maternity photo shoot.  A girl I went to high school with is starting up her own photography business (Studio One Two One) and approached me about doing a free shoot so that she could promote her business.  I was thrilled about the opportunity and excited to have professional pictures to document this amazing experience.  We agreed to meet at a local state park and let her use us as her guinea pigs.  All I  can say is that the photos were amazing, she was great to work with, and we are so letting her take baby girl's newborn pictures. And .. because you will see it in the photos, we have officially decided to name baby girl Grace Elizabeth.  Anyways .. here's a photo bomb of our pictures. Enjoy!!!

35 Weeks

Tomorrow I will officially be 35 weeks.  Time sure is flying by and I can't believe there are only a few more weeks left in this pregnancy.  Lots to update on .. so where to start?

Our amazing friends and family threw us a baby shower on August 26.  It was a lot of fun and we got lots of wonderful gifts from some really amazing friends and family.  The girls who put it all together did such a great job and I've had many people tell me it was the nicest shower they had been to.  Because I am a huge reader and really want to instill the idea of this in baby girl's life, we asked the guests to bring us a copy of their favorite story book instead of a card.  We got some really great books and I cannot wait to start reading them with her.  Here are some pics from the baby shower:

Last week I started weekly NST's (non stress tests), BPP's (biophysical profiles) and weekly OB visits.  The NST's are to test baby's heart rate with movement and to determine how she would fare during labor.  I had to go to labor and delivery for the test because my OB office does not perform them there.  They hooked me up to a machine with two probes - one to measure her heartbeat and one to measure any uterine activity (contractions). The nurse told me she would monitor for at least 20 minutes, but the test could take up to an hour.  She gave me a button to push every time she moved. The nurse told me what they are looking for is to see baby's heart rate go up at least 15 beats per minute with movement and they want to see this happen at least 2 times in 20 minutes.  At first baby wasn't being very active, but then she went crazy and passed the test with flying colors.  

On Friday last week I had my first BPP but they also combined it with a growth scan since it had been 5 weeks since the last one.  The BPP measures baby's heart rate, breathing, movement, and amniotic fluid around her.  They give a baby 2 points for each of the categories with a max score of 8/8. She passed the test with flying colors and measured in at 4lbs 14oz. She is now in the 50th percentile for her weight, which is good because that means she won't be too big of a baby. 

From this week forward I will have my BPP's on Mondays and NST's on Thursdays with an OB appointment mixed in there somewhere.  This week's BPP was great and she scored an 8/8.  NST is tomorrow and I imagine it will go well.  I also had my OB appointment today and got to meet the newest doctor in the practice.  This is nice so that when I go into labor I will know who is there delivering our baby girl.  

I also got interesting news from the doctor today.  Apparently because I have Gestational Diabetes, they will not let me go past 39 weeks.  I thought the only reason they would induce me would be if the baby was really big or if I went past my due date.  I guess that's not true.  So if baby girl isn't here by 39 weeks, which is October 11th, they will induce.  I was able to schedule my appointments for the rest of the pregnancy so I will find out for sure on October 8th when my induction will be.  I'm so excited but also nervous now.  I thought we had 5 weeks to go and now it's suddenly down to 4 or less .. crazy!!!